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The Story of Something (Chapter 1 and a Half) - Marvin the Robot talks politics [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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The Story of Something (Chapter 1 and a Half) [Apr. 27th, 2014|04:04 am]
[Current Location |Laptop at Diner (Maeve)]
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |Local Radio Station]

But there's more!
Now, some people think there was a giant ice shield over the world that kept the hotness out of the air, which makes sense because ice is clear like air is so you could still see the sun and stars, but they're choosing to be wrong, because the Something always gives us a choice and they decided to choose the bad bitty devils. What really happened is the air was heavier because it was full of water. That meant big lizards could walk better because they were almost like they were swimming, and even bigger ones could fly. That's why you can find stone skeletons of flying lizards.
Now before you tell me they were carbon dated or were found deeper than other things, you have to know the truth. Adam and Eve had to fight big lizards and all kinds of things they named, along with lions and bears and cancer and gigantic birds that existed before the flood, while their kids did bad things like be gay and do bad things to kids. They made bad choices because Adam and Eve made bad choices, and because the bad little devils would tempt them to do bad things. At the same time, they were getting bigger and smaller and fighting big lizards that could fly and stuff like giant birds and giant armadillos that were big like cars. They didn't have cars yet, but Ezekiel would see a very special car in the air later, so cars are in the big book about the Something, but they're special cars.
The air with lots of water was different than our air now. It was a little harder to breathe and walk, but that was okay because it was thicker and there was more of it, so we were okay. When the Something wanted to kill everybody, though, he decided the water needed to fall and kill everybody with it, so he changed the way the air worked! The air wasn't able to hold all the water anymore, so everybody died from the water!
This made big clouds that blocked out the sun and made everything real cold, which is why there were ice ages, but they were a lot shorter than people think. There was also a lot of storms, and the storms made a lot of zaps, and the zaps make ozone, so that's how we got the ozone which is why we don't have the bad hotness. But the ozone's running out now because the Something is ending the world, which is good.